Forsaken By All
by Feawen
Summary: What would have been said between Reamus and Sirius after the fateful incidents of October 1981, here is an answer. All Remus want to know is why, but does he truly listen to the answer? The accompaniment to Forgive No More, this time from Sirius's point


Darkness, eternal darkness and pain. I opened my eyes once again to a darkness not very different from that of my closed eyes. I wished in vain for a few seconds of blissful amnesia at my awakening, but I guess such things are more of a fantasy than I have ever realized.

My ears tuned the endless screaming out automatically I hate that screaming, but it is even worse when it stops. I crawled to the farthest corner of my cell, hoping to escape the cold of the Dementors. I curled up and placed my head on my knees, meditating on my innocence, or trying to.

I could not tell how long I had been there, but the dementors were starting to break through, I was beginning to think I _had _killed James and Lilly. I sat there, as I always did, lost in myself, for there was little in my reality worth remaining in it for.

A thin mist crept in through the slit that provided my only glimpse into the world, though I did not notice it, but the sound that accompanied it. I listened intently from my position to the strange sound of footsteps. "The warden," I thought to myself, thinking of the only human on the island aside from the prisoners. I listened to the footsteps for a few moments then I noticed that it sounded as if two people were now walking down the long hallway that led to the high security area.

At this point I gave up hope, it was certainly little more than a dream, for I had imagined Remus coming to get often in my time here. I ignored it, knowing I was finally loosing it here in hell. I receded back into myself.

"Sirius," I heard a voice, it was the warden' I guessed, I did not recognize it, it didn't matter. "Sirius," he called again, this time I noticed that is voice was like that of one calling an animal from the back of a cage. "You have a visitor," he said slowly, I listened slightly more intently, but remained silent, "a Mr. Lupin is here to see you."

I lifted my head from its resting position on my knees, I stared at him, and even then my head told me that it was once again a dream. My eyes stayed fixed on him as I began to crawl forward. I sat near the bars, unsure that I had any strength with which to stand.

"Remus…" the questioning word escaping my lips before I realized it. I kept my gaze fixed on him as he lowered himself to my level.

"I want to know why, Sirius," he said sharply, his words lashing at me like a whip, his tone caused me to flinch, I never imagined Remus could show such hatred.

"Remus…Moony…" control of my own voice escaped me as I rushed to convince him of my innocence, " I didn't…I never…Wormtail…" I sputtered out each word quickly.

"A street full of muggles saw it, Sirius," he yelled back at me, anger rising on his face. Despite my imagining everything that Remus must think of me I could not in my wildest imagination have seen him so angry with me. I suppose I must have looked clearly shaken as I wrapped my hands around the iron bars and drew my face closer to his. The look of anger fell slightly from his face as he stared at me for a moment. He paused for a moment in thought, and I continued to stare at him for this moment before I tried once again to convince him of my innocence.

"Remus, I…didn't. Peter is the traitor." I stuttered over the words uncontrollably, I must have sounded guilty from the look upon Remus's face. There had to be some way to make him understand, he at least needed to leave wondering about my innocence if nothing else. I knew there was some part deep inside of him that must have looked at me and cried in pain at my suffering.

"Peter is dead, Sirius. You killed him; you betrayed Lily and James. You are the reason for your own suffering here. There is no forgiveness left for you." I stared at him in disbelief, an utter hopelessness beginning to well inside of me; I _would _be doomed to this fate for the rest of my days.

Remus began to walk away as I made a desperate attempt to make him understand. I reached through the bars of my cell and caught the hem of his robes quickly in my hand.

"Moony, please…I am innocent," I sobbed in my utter despair, staring up at him hopelessly. He sent a glare at me that slashed across my heart like a dagger, then pulled his robes out of my grasp and started to walk away. I knew then that my last living friend had truly forsaken me. In my stupidity and despair I threw my body against the bars and called out his name hoarsely, he continued to walk. The warden walked quickly in the other direction.

I called his name again and beat the bars with my body; I repeated this movement several times before a sudden cold washed over me as a group of dementors swooped into the hall. I cowered back in to my cell as the warden came into view and opened the door for them. They all came into my cell and my mind was stricken with the pain. I called Remus's name in pain, the fresh pain of his visit only helping the dementors. The group descended on me, and with the pain I let an ear piercing scream escape my lips as I collapsed to the floor, dreams of my hopelessness, and Remus's hatred haunting my sleep, I could never shake this fate, It had already consumed me, the battle was lost.


End file.
